The T.E.A. Model

The T.E.A. Model consists of the three elements that we use to process situations and interactions: Thoughts (what we think and believe), Emotions (what we feel and value) and Actions (what we say and do).

We all have a favourite mode through which we filter experiences and we are often surprised when the other person has a mode different to our favourite one. If we recognise the other person’s mode we can then adjust our communication so that we match theirs. Simply by listening to the other person’s language we can work out their preference. The most obvious things to listen out for are “I think”, “I feel”, “I do”, and the many variations of these that give us clues.

You can also do this for yourself. Listen to what you are saying to yourself, for example, and this will tell you a lot. Are you saying supportive things or things that will limit you? What you will do in difficult situation or what you can’t do? It’s your choice.